Would You Marry Me?
Would you marry me?
You would make a bigamist out of me
But it's me who is married and not you
Well if you can have two husbands then I would want two wives, in fact I would have three or four
Why would you want three or four?
I would want a little fat one to do the cooking
But she might not like it
Oh yes she would, she would love it, you know the type, nibbling at the ingredients all day. "Um Jam Roly-Poly" while taking a teaspoon to get the last of the jam from the jar
Who else would you have?
Would we live in a big house with a big garden back and front?
Then we would need a gardener, get her birthday presents pretending they are for her
Like a Flymo
And what would you be doing?
I'd be sitting on the patio reading the newspaper, and she would be saying, ah look at the flowers aren't they beautiful, what do think of the roses?
And I would look up briefly and say, "Aye Canny"
And what would be my purpose?
To check when the bed linen needs to be changed
With a reluctant smile on her face
While all the lads around and about are busting a gut
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