Tuesday, 9 February 2016

Do you ever have shit on your arse?


Geordie Gardiner

I was having a drink a few weeks back in a pub in Fatfield
It was an afternoon and fairly packed
Before long the conversation got round to Christianity
And once the ball started to roll they where all ears
One of the young women asked me to say a prayer for Dave Bowie
I even had them singing hymns
I goaded them:
"If I can tell you the history of my favourite hymns will you sing them?
But only if what I have to say is interesting
If you don't find it interesting then you need not bother
What do you say"
And so with the help of YouTube I was able to get the words up on a screen
30 minutes or so later it developed into a group discussion
About politics
They wanted to know my thoughts
It became very relaxed
And in a lull a young man said:

Can I ask you something?

Yeah, whatever you want

Do you ever have shit on your arse?

Well you might construe to believe my answer is in regard to people but you would be wrong, it's not

It's not?


Then what is it about?

It's about shit?


Yeah, that's what you asked me about, you asked me about shit and not about people, so my answer would be in regard to shit.

Errrr yeah, OK,

Well do you know a soft shit?

A soft shit?

Aye you've had one before, haven't you?


A soft shit, you've had one?

Well yeah

Well you see a soft shit leaves shit on your arse. But you know a tough shit........it doesn't leave a speck ...(Laughter Form The Pub)... so it would be a waste of time me asking you the same question

What question?

Do you ever have shit on your arse?


Because you have just admitted that you do, so it would be a waste of time asking

(More Laughter Form The Pub)

Monday, 8 February 2016



Geordie Gardiner

It is a coincidence that the first British soldier killed in the First World War and the last British soldier killed in the First World War were killed in Mons.

Strange though it may seem, it is just a coincidence. Stranger things have happen, I am sure.

People are strange, when you're a stranger and nothing can be stranger than what people claim to see and with often reported celestial activity, people are bound to look to the clouds to see what they can see.

Both John Parr and George Edwin Ellison where buried in the same cemetery and as the years passed by the talk was of the sky and not of the spot where you stand to view, and wish you were a tree.

Then one day there was yet another "visitor."

Likely a sceptic, if you ask me.

And without a glance to the heavens he saw.

And was amazed, with awe and wonder that in over 90 years since the noise of man-made thunder

The lighting, was of such purity, that he could not help but see

The futility

The insanity

Of never knowing

How such can be

It being a coincidence

A complete coincidence

That there in rest

Is the headstone of one

Facing the other one

And it

Was all for me


Me, me,

The me

Me, me society

Who don't give a hoot

If you're dammed of blessed.

Originally posted in the "Fire of the Lord" blog at the picture link below, where you can find information on how the Pentecostal church in the UK grew from developments that started in Sunderland by the Rev. Alexander Boddy who was also involved in the story of the Angles of Mons, which were clained to have been seen at the fists battle in the First World War that included British troops.